


the hardest thing i've ever done.

by hanorganaas



Series: Comment_fic ficlets. [15]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Community: comment_fic, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 04:59:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7787635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/pseuds/hanorganaas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If you love me then get on this X - Wing, forsake Snoke and come home with me...end this. Because if I am going to marry you, I am going to marry Ben Organa Solo....not Kylo Ren."</p>
            </blockquote>





	the hardest thing i've ever done.

**Author's Note:**

> brumeier Prompted: Any, Any, a marriage proposal turns into a breakup.
> 
> I'm So Sorry guys for the pain.

"Come with me my love, rule the galaxy with me as my husband. Together we could be unstoppable."

Poe didn't know what was more shocking. The way Ben, his childhood sweetheart looked, in nothing black like a shadow something that made him more menacing when he put on the mask or the fact that he just got on his knees asking him to marry him.

Poe was at a loss of what to do. He loved Ben with all his heart, it made him sick seeing the destruction and carnage Ben had made now that he embraced the side as Kylo Ren, yet he did. But at the same time, he had a lot of his mother Shara in him. She believed in freedom and happiness of others, even over her own.

He could follow his heart and go with Ben. He may not agree with the First Order, but at least he could be happy and forsake the very thing his mother fought and died for, and the thing his father continued to fight. But Poe couldn't. His mother died so he could be safe, going to the First Order for the man he loved would be an dishonor to her memory.

"Ben I love you and I always will," Poe swallowing the lump in his throat, "you were the first man I ever loved but....I must decline...my loyalty is to Freedom and to the Republic. I'm sorry."

He would have bent down and gave a shocked and bewildered Ben one last kiss but it would be too painful. But Poe brought Ben's hand to his lips and kissed it. It lingered for a moment before he reluctantly let it go.

"Maybe someday....when you are free from this.." Poe said his voice cracking, "I will."

As Poe turned his back to him and walked back to his fighter he could see Ben stand up at the corner of his eye and start yelling at him.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH!" Ben yelled, it was really hard to hold his tears, "I COULD HAVE GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING! POE COME BACK PLEASE! DON'T DO THIS." As Poe climbed aboard his X wing he wanted for the moment for Ben to use the force to compel him to come back. It was almost if he was the only thing holding him back from the dark. Maybe just maybe..."I LOVE YOU!"

Poe winced but he looked at Ben with his eyes watering. He bit his lip and made one last plea for Ben to snap out of this, so he wouldn't have to do this.

"If you love me then get on this X - Wing, forsake Snoke and come home with me...end this. Because if I am going to marry you, I am going to marry Ben Organa Solo....not Kylo Ren."

Ben and Poe stared at each other for a moment. As the moments passed his hope increased he thought maybe...just maybe Ben would turn around and get back in this ship with him.

But he never did. Ben put on his mask and walked to his ship not saying a word and Poe's heart shattered.

Poe sunk into his x-wing and buried his face in his hands. He sobbed wailed into the night. It was the first time in his life he felt broken and lost all hope. He guessed that was what happened when something dear was ripped away from someone.

In the end, Poe knew he made the right decision. He couldn't forsake his values no matter how much he loved Ben.

But it didn't mean....he was going to be able to live with it.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be afraid to Send me Prompts at
> 
> http://melindamaay.co.vu/


End file.
